Gascoigne displays his feelings through illustrative metaphors. One such example is his explanation of why he refuses to look his listener in the eye--Gascoigne relates this to that of a fly nearly burned in a flame. He brings this to life, describing the fly as "scorched" and creating a picture in the reader's mind. (9) He does this in the beginning as well, again describing his refusal by comparing it to a mouse that escaped a trap. (5). Both of this metaphors are paint an images of his feelings, allowing the reader to visualize them, and making Gascoigne's position clear: he lost his trust in the listener and has therefore created a guard. He has learned his lesson, just as would an animal who nearly experienced death.
Gascoigne continues to make his attitude more apparent through the use of descriptive adjectives. His word choice often creates alliteration--"follows fancy dazzled by desire" (12). The alliteration draws attention to that section of the sentence, so when Gascoigne compares himself to the mouse, being in "doubt of deep deceit", the reader can't miss it. (8) The decision to use "deep" to describes deceit shows that his feelings aren't surface level--they are significant and strong. It shows that he feels betrayed, and is not likely to recover from it soon. This enforces Gascoigne's earlier metaphors--it sends the message that he was wronged and, like an animal learning from classic conditioning, refuses to find himself in a similar situation. It would be illogical.
Finally, Gascoigne finishes the poem with two lines that are indented. By separating these lines from the rest, Gascoigne draws attention to them and gives them significance. He uses these lines to say, one final time, that he will never encounter the reader's "blazing eyes" again, because they "bred" him "misery" (14). The fact that he chose to indent these lines and make them significant shows the writer is serious about his stance and not likely to budge.
Gascoigne's poem lends an attitude of great betrayal and certain reluctance. The poet depicts his experience through imagery shapes by metaphors, explaining that, like a trained animal, he will not let down his guard and be betrayed again. This idea is enforced through alliteration and strong, descriptive adjectives. He affirms this decision once again, by indenting the final two lines of the poem. All of these choices, in combination, show that the deceit leave Gascoigne wary. He strongly refuses to subject himself to a similar situation again.
Reflection
We were given an AP Lit FRQ, in which we were asked to "analyze how the complex attitude of the speaker is developed through such devices as form, diction, and imagery" in the poem "For That He Looked Not upon Her". I wasn't caught completely off guard--we'd spent the majority of junior year analyzing different pieces of literature in AP Comp and it was clear that the prompt expected a similar understanding of writing. I still felt unprepared in some ways; for example, we were analyzing a poem. I have no background in poetry--I couldn't distinguish iambic pentameter if my life depended on it. More than that, I have no idea how to analyze poetic "form". I was impressed with my willingness to jump in anyways--I used all the time given and did my best to analyze the three suggested categories in the prompt. Looking back, I can honestly say I gave full effort. Knowing this, I would still only give myself a 5 or 6 on the essay. I feel as though the analysis was plausible--it failed to acknowledge any underlying complexities and most of it focused on the surface layer feelings of deceit and betrayal. On the other hand, I did well by drawing specific lines from the text and breaking those apart. My writing wasn't awful--especially for someone who had no clue what she was doing. I did identify devices, but I struggled in the form category--are indented lines even a thing? Having received a 5, I am not disappointed, but instead excited to improve. In the following two weeks, I would like to develop a basic understanding of 3 different types of poetry (perhaps free verse, english sonnet, italian sonnet) and iambic pentameter, so I can identify these in the future. An increased knowledge of these terms will prepare me to better discuss poetry in future FRQ's because, by knowing the options, I'll be able to understand why writers made the choices they did.
Comments
This analysis is extremely well written for a first FRQ attempt. The paragraphs are ordered well and ideas transition smoothly into each other, creating a clear and reasonable argument. Akane analyses the depth of the poem by extending past just the idea of deceit and continuing on to examine the writers’ feelings of desire, something I missed when I wrote my analysis. She identified devices and tied them to specific quotes from the text, which were seamlessly tied into sentences so the writing was easy to follow. Although it was well written and analyzed complexity, this analysis lacked a reference to how the poetic form developed the attitude. Akane certainly acknowledges this in her reflection, stating that she wasn’t knowledgeable in areas of poetic form: iambic pentameter, sonnets, etc. The essay certainly warrants a score of a 6, which is higher than Akane gave herself. She draws from the AP Lit Scoring Guidelines, highlighting that she had “misinterpretation”, therefore automatically giving herself a 5. I disagree with this diagnosis; although the analysis wasn’t incredibly deep, it did analyze some level of complexity by contrasting the author’s desire with deceit and using the metaphors to emphasize this. Although the references to the metaphors were done through paraphrase (which would warrant a 5 in most cases), Akane did use specific quotes later on that enhanced her analysis. Also, her analysis is thorough and presents a believable argument that acknowledges two of the three required devices. Although the analysis can be improved, it is certainly a good start.
The impressive analysis of this poem certainly places it in the 6-7 range. The author creates a reasonable argument by writing a piece that includes smooth transitions and has clear organization. To begin with, the introduction paragraph is well written and intriguing--it gets straight to the point and places the message right away, preparing the reader for the analysis to follow. This is a great strategy because it makes the analysis clear and easy to understand. In the following paragraphs, the author does her best to analyze poetic form by identifying the AB pattern and drawing from the text specifically. She continues to the third paragraph by adding a conclusion sentence to the second paragraph to ease the transition. However, she does not repeat this strategy for the third or fourth paragraph, which could have helped with the flow.Although the writer excels in the realm of clarity, she does not specify an attitude in the first paragraph, labelling it as a “complex attitude”, just as it is described in the prompt. If this were specified in the beginning, rather than in the end, perhaps the structure of the analysis could be enhanced.Nevertheless, this essay is well written and well organized. The reader examines the surface level layers of the poem and then goes on, effectively addressing and explaining the paradox explored by Gascoigne. She includes specific references to the text which are apt, useful, and certainly enhance her piece. I agree with this author in her scoring--a 7 is an accurate score. The analysis and the writing are both strong, creating a well crafted analysis.
Revision
Trust is tricky: once lost, it is difficult to regain. In the poem "For That He Looked Not Upon Her”, author George Gascoigne explores the danger in attraction. The speaker, amazed by their lover’s dazzling beauty, struggles to refrain from looking their deceitful lover in the face. Illustrative metaphors and alliteration are employed in a Shakespearean sonnet to craft the scorned lover’s reluctant disapproval. Gascoigne's retells an experience of betrayal, centering on the feelings left in the aftermath of a relationship gone wayward.
The speaker is clearly hurt. He explicitly exposes his detrimental experience through illustrative metaphors, comparing himself to a “scorched fly which once hath scaped the flame” (l. 9). It is obvious that the speaker views himself to be the victim in this situation, despite the fact that it is clear that he brought this situation upon himself. Flies are scorched by flames only because they choose to venture close to the flame, ignoring the heat due to their interest in the bright light. This metaphor very subtly suggests that the speaker himself is at fault. Nevertheless, this hint is overridden with his accusation of his lover as the instigator of his pain. The speaker notes that her, “blazing eyes my bale have bred”, outwardly accusing her of creating misery in his life. (l.14). The use of alliteration in this instance draws attention to the line, overshadowing any hidden meaning in the previous metaphor and leaving the blame entirely upon the woman. While the speaker’s pain is apparent, his disapproval of the woman is egregiously apparent.
Despite acknowledging his pain, the speaker attempts to feign neutrality towards their once lover. They emphasized that their “eyes take no delight to range / About the gleams which on your face do grow” (ll. 3-4). Although he recognizes her beauty by describing the gleams on her face, his use of personification emphasizes his lack of emotion towards the woman. However, this neutrality is short lived. Later in the poem, the speaker uses metaphor to compare himself to a mouse, explaining that a mouse that has escaped a trap is “seldom ‘ticed with the trustless bait / But lies aloof for fear of more mishap” (ll. 6-7). Although the speaker is adamant about playing victim -- he compares her and her love to a mousetrap -- he also mentions that he will lie aloof, suggesting that he is scared. This expression of emotion details the growing intensity of his feelings and reveals that he is not, in fact, as neutral and disinterest as he initially presented. The speaker is clearly disapproving of her.
This disapproval of the woman is met with great reluctance. Although the speaker repeatedly characterizes himself as victim through illustrative metaphors, the use of alliteration in the end of the poem reveal his reluctance and struggle. The speaker writes the entire poem as an explanation of a lesson learned, pointing out that he “learned that grievous is the game / which follows fancy dazzled by desire” (ll.10-11). The triple - use of alliteration separates the line into three sections, drawing equal emphasis to each part. First, “grievous is the game”, meaning the speaker understands it is dangerous. This is a clear tie back to the beginning metaphor with the fly -- he is going back to suggesting that he is not entirely the victim, just as a mouse scorched by a flame is not entirely innocent. Next, “follows fancy” and “dazzled by desire” reveal, again, that the speaker is attracted to his lover. He is no longer attempting to feign neutrality, but is, rather, struggling to adhere to the lesson learned through this difficult relationship. Although he is clearly disapproving towards the woman, he is also attracted to her, making him reluctant to not look upon her.
Regardless of his reluctance, the man uses the final couplet of the poem to affirm his original stance. These lines, given emphasis through their placing in the Shakespearean sonnet as the final couplet, repeat the author’s initial stance, “Because your blazing eyes my bale have bred” (l. 15). Although, in the poem, he is at times reluctant to dismiss the woman, the final lines once again characterize him as the victim. The alliteration of the “b” sound emphasize this, characterizing the woman as the perpetrator of his pain. The fact that he refuses to acknowledge personal fault and feelings of desire, as he subtly does throughout the poem, emphasizes his inability to come to terms with the situation. His extreme disapproval in the final lines contrast with and thereby emphasize his true feelings of reluctant disapproval.
Reflection
After reading benchmark essays and others' work, we were given the opportunity to revise our essay. Having done this, I am more confident with my piece now than I was earlier. Still, there are several things I would like to work on. Firstly, I did a better job by mentioning multiple devices in each paragraph. However, I am still unsure of what topics we should be crafting the topic sentences for each paragraph on. I would like to get a better grasp on this and will do so by studying the example essays in the AP Lit & Comp textbook.
Revision
In the “Beet Queen”, author Louise Erdrich explores the differing perspectives of siblings. Mary is commonplace and worn, blending in perfectly with the environment, whereas Karl is pure and delicate, a stark contrast to the universe around him. Erdrich strengthens her contrast between the reactions of both siblings through antithesis, imagery and opposing tones.
In the final paragraph, Mary and Karl are contrasted literally through their decisions. After striking the dog, Mary runs towards their aunt’s house, whereas Karl returns to the boxcar. This pivotal moment, revealing Karl’s decision to leave, emphasizes that he did not belong there. More importantly, Karl’s departure parallels the antithesis in the beginning of the piece. Whereas Mary choose to stay as an addition, Karl ultimately leaves, as the subtraction. The single moment’s ability to produce such different reactions in two people emphasizes the idea that different personalities can develop different perspectives.
Reflection